Today I didn’t go to work because I just couldn’t go to work today. I couldn’t spend another 12 hours eating other people’s undigested grief while still choking on my own. I do other stuff at work besides unconsciously scarfing second-hand sadness, btw, but mainly that’s the stuff that pushed me to call in to work. Ugh. I’m for sure fortunate to have a job where I can not go because I really and truly CAN’T WORK TODAY because I just CAN’T and I don’t even have to say that I need the day off to shake off other people’s shit and be with my own shit and yeah, it’s all holy shit, I know that, but I can only eat my own shit today. I simply need not say.
Thanks, Great Mystery!
Anyhow, here’s a snippet of how my holy ( holism) shit is shaking out for me today:
Well, for starters, I’m posting something here. Wow.
Also, I’m hyper-hyperlinkee. Wowza
And, I ate two breakfasts this am-both in my bed. One sweet and one savory. I then watched two indie flicks on my laptop, one I recommend and one I don’t. Because I love everything Brit Marling does, I dig dark comedies, the soundtrack is spectacular, and the theme is life/death/life (my fave), I do hereby nominate Posthumous for the next movie you watch if your expectations aren’t too high (it’s a bit formulaic, but I forgive this because I love love and it’s not that predictable… watch the trailer) The other one I don’t recommend because I was distracted by the text volley I share below and well, the movie was sorta interesting I guess, but also not that interesting and I think I wept a little, but lately there’s not a whole lot that doesn’t make me at least a wee bit misty… because, you guys...LIFE!
I mostly want to tell you:
The last several weeks have been crazy magical in ways I’m not willing to share just yet, and maybe I shan’t ever share all that’s been and IS happening on this forum – I most certainly will not. But I do feel like I want to report something of the mystery and wonder that’s been courting me and causing quite the internal ruckus these days. You see, I got all kinds of /beautiful/horrifying/mystical mainly entanglements and untanglements going on in here and really if you looked at me, you’d likely not notice if you weren’t looking with the right eyes.
You’d likely not notice my sweaty heart.
Really, my heart is on fire and no, I don’t have GERD. Not even a little bit.
What can I say really? I have lots of really fascinating stories that are worthy of writing, but also I’m not ready to write them. I have been mostly unlearning.
Words are impotent little symbols for the magical mish-mash I’m experiencing and that I AM.
I know! Here’s a bit of what I’m pointing to in the form of a texted conversation I had today with one of my friends who knows what I’m trying to say. She inspires what I’m pointing to. She is what I’m suggesting. So are you.
It’s 5:30 pm and I’m still in my pajamas.
To end, I’ll extend to you this blessing that someone mighty special recently sent to me…
Enjoy the night breezes and the dreamy mysteries to come ❤