after work

one half trader joes organic frozen pizza and one whole sierra nevada summerfest and tomorrow begins august and dentist and white hair and red face and rough hands and seventies soft rock now easy listening rumbling through speakers and dont bother to make it commercial free and is he hitting on me and drool and floss and sonicare and just clean em the fuck up please and i do my best and you do your best and amazon addiction and aloneness different than loneliness and the tick that is my hand reaching for my iphone and i like you less when you wear rhinestones and where is my email and you have to work for it but maybe you wont and maybe thats why i like you and envy because she writes like that but no envy because she charts like that or because she gets the iv into the old dried up lady on the first poke like that and wild night eyes and circles full of bounce and chasing neon green dressed in felt and each breath brings me closer to my death and a quote by kierkegaard the greatest lie is the feeling of firmness beneath our feet we are at our most honest when we are lost and faces in my dreams and faces from long ago and trains and helicopters and shit i missed my stop and how did i still end up ending up where i began and this must be cheating and i get a free do over without a cost and hating who i am while i am there and hating that i hate who i am while im there and getting over it and self preservation and screaming electric hot pink sunsets dabbled with slate and joseph arthur i miss the zoo x3 while driving as fast as my car that makes no statement will go while contemplating the mix of color that would create this scene on canvas and a billboard for pest control the one with the sexy guy in the white jumpsuit from the sixties a porno waiting to happen and new flip flops sparkly leopard skinny strapped wedges and why the fuck not and anything to not sit down on my cushion and move closer to the madhouse even though i know i will.