today i am— no plans— no pressure— no deadlines— off the hook in so many ways—floating through hot blue sky—no anchor pulling towards the earth— empty fleshy animal—a dead hungry ghost— bloody grasping and then open hands holding nothing—i mean everything—or was it nothing?— remember—nothing stays the same— remember what is true never changes—passing by my mind one day— i shouted—hey you, remember me? remember when we used to get it on with each other every moment of every day?— u asked—do you miss me? — do I miss you? hell yeah, i miss you— i miss your passion and your craving and your never being satisfied and the way you would snuggle up against me and promise me that you would always take care of me—you said you’d never leave —of course now that you ask—i remember so many things— how could i forget? —we were married for so long, for eternities I danced in your shadow—my old ball and chain— old faithful—believing always that you were all that there was to me—greedy and lusty you—you with the big ideas—plans—thoughts and thinking and sexy wanting and sweet clinging—promises—yes—you made me happy and then you made me sad and then happy and then sad—i believed you—you lied—liar — sexy invisible beast— now I am sitting in a chair covered in flowers— enjoying the clean and shiny and long and soft hair that falls down my back—piano music fills the room—my world—stop—stop—stop.