Quitter

So I quit NaBloPoMo, and quite frankly…I don’t give a shit and I feel just fine.

I noticed the absurdity ( for myself) of rushing home from 12 hours days caring for decomposing humans to post some mental vomit just because I said I would,  because I VOWED I would… rubbish. I like a challenge, but I didn’t feel challenged by NABLOPOMO as much as I felt bored and put off by it. I realized that I don’t want to share every fucking thought that drifts through my awareness …. that’s something important for me to realize, and also….most people don’t want to hear my endless processing of this shit and that shit.  Trust me, I don’t even want to hear it; it’s shit…… and I suppose in the end that’s what it all boils down to. I can dump it all into a notebook and then forget about it, this feels better to me. There are parts of me under construction; parts I’m still trying to grok….parts necessary for this organism to BE..but that doesn’t mean they’re parts worth sharing.  There is enough useless noise in the world, like leaf blowers, and bathroom sirens with flashing red lights, ( all the nurses say, “AMEN!”)

So, I will continue to post until I no longer post.

I’m not a blogger. I don’t even know what that means….BLOGGER.

I’m a dreamer, lover, psychopomp, eater, pooper, sleeper, cryer, laugher, thinker, reader, and EVERYTHING-else -ER that ever was and ever will be!

So….

I guess I’m a blogger. at least a teeny little bit of me.  And a little teeny bit of me is wrinkling her nose at this conclusion, while having a gajillion thoughts all at once…so…

Off to assault my notebook I shall go….