It’s Friday morning. This means that I woke up to the screaming engine of a leaf blower. Fucking gardeners. After 6 years of 7am Friday morning visits, I still forget about this before I go to sleep on Thurday night, anticipating a sweet long snooze. I think to myself, “I’ll sleep in!” I don’t work on Fridays, so it’s a day to sleep a bit longer, to catch up on my always occuring sleep deficit. On work days I rip myself from the comfort of unconciousness at 530. I’m always catching up on sleep. I love sleeping, and it loves me.
On Fridays I always wake up pissed off. This has been going on for years, and rarely do I remember to stuff my ears full of orange foam before bed. I was complaining about this upset in my sleep cycle one day to a friend who lives in Hollywood, her response was, “at least you aren’t woken up by gunshots!” she said, always trying to get me to see the bright side of life. Shit, at least guns serve a purpose. Leaf blower. We don’t even have a leaf problem! What in the hell is wrong with some leaves hanging out on the concrete? What’s wrong with a broom people?!@#%$!!
When I was in nursing school, Friday was the ONLY morning I could sleep in. I worked at night slinging hash, and my days were spent filling my head full of science and climbing up mountains. I was a busy woman, I needed, I STILL NEED, my beauty sleep. I was woken up one morning too many during this time, and in my hypnogogic state I threw on what I hope was appropriate attire, and padded my way to the door. At the site of me, the round smiling man in the big straw hat silenced his torture device, ” This is the ONLY day I can sleep in, can you PLEASE come later, or on another day, perhaps?” I asked, as sweetly as I could manage. We agreed on Wednesday, I had a 7am class, and I would be long gone by the time they arrived. I went back to bed, feeling grateful, hopeful, and powerful.
The cheerful man and his lemmings then made their way to my next door neighbor’s yard to begin their assault on her leaf infested sidewalk. I couldn’t win, I still can’t win. These men have a lucky monopoly on the entire block, and the one to the north of us. Leaf blowers are illegal in Manhattan Beach, California. Noise ordinance. I wonder if I’d like it there.
God want’s me to be up early on Fridays! Get busy young lady, go catch that worm! But I’m grouchy, and I want rest. My eyes are puffy, my head is foggy, and my mind demanding a nap. Shut up you sissy, says God, do your duty Arjuna! Fine. Today I will, but next Thursday night I’m setting my phone to remind me to insert earplugs before I retire. Unless I forget. Again.
I need to move.