I started off 2010 with a mysterious head cold. I say mysterious because, where did it come from????? It began on my birthday while watching Being John Malkovich. Selena had invited Tip the dog , who is really named Arthur, and I over for a birthday dinner. I was feeling blue having just gotten news of a friends likely cancer diagnosis. No big party plans for me. I was cuddling with Jake, a sweet old Springer Spaniel with a hankerin’ for all things that touch him. I thought at first I was just having some sort of allergic reaction , being that he was all up in my grill. My nose was suddenly stuffy and my sinuses got that “burny” feeling. I was being invaded. Strange, I’ve never had allergies before, but you just never know when your body will decide something is the enemy.
I just remembered this is supposed to be a freewrite with the topic being, on a wing and a prayer. I’m not really sure why I started this way, but lucky for me this is a freewrite and anything goes while poking around down here in foggy freewriteville at 430 am. Seems some shift has taken place here in twenty ten. I suspect my cold, or allergy, was some energetic block being pushed out of my body, I really do. I got this “headcold” the same day I got my period, AND it was a blue moon! A full moon that happens twice in one month, AND it’s new years EVE, AND I dig me some reason to throw out the word Auspicious!!! This was AUSPICIOUS!
ONCE IN A BLUE MOON. On a wing and a prayer, and once in a blue moon, perspectives shift and lives are forever altered, energies shifted and steered towards a fork in the road where the old energy would go right, now it goes left, and holy moly, left is exciting, but scary. It’s foreign territory. I don’t recognize myself, I feel clear and light. I’m moving through the world with a brand new engine it seems. Cool. My third eye clearing out, dusty ancient perceptions being cleansed away with blood, sneezes and snot. How do I know? I know because I FEEL different, I see things differently, the world is more golden, less grey. There is more texture, and I feel more love. ALSO…..The flippin cat has taken to sleeping on me! Not just WITH me, but ON me. yes, this is new, and I’m not so sure it’s a good thing, but it is a big shift. So now instead of her piercing meows coming from the other room, I get to hear them up close every time I decide I need to adjust myself under her weight. Catharsis, change…I spent the holidays in Florida with the family. That was uncomfortable to say the least, all my insides churning, bubbling, begging for release
. I’m the Tasmanian Devil, I had a bone to pick with all the grown ups, and I let them know it. ” Don’t call me Kathy!!!!” The first place prize for my shit list goes to my beloved big brother who never once asked me how I was doing, just told me boring stories about people I don’t even know while blowing the stinkiest cigar smoke into my next inhale. He also informed me of the big fat problem of taxes in California, and how this state is taxing itself into a depression, this was quite possibly the most awful decision I could be making. Thanks Jim. Florida is the place folks go to die, California is for LIVING. We never resolved this, I apologized for my outburst, he just asked, “why not seattle?”
It was good, moved some stale energy up and out and in the end I was able to have a conversation with my sister without snapping at her. It’s 430am and I’m writing this before work, drinking that fucked up powdered crack called VIA, the starbucks answer to Taster’s Choice. On a wing and a prayer I will live to fulfill this urging, this pulsating to do….whatever the hell I was put here to do. My left foot has been lifted off the brake, look out world…I got a full tank of gas. Robin, I gotta come clean, I’m not sure what ” on a wing and a prayer” exactly means.